Eat With Me

Hey Gaysians.

You gotta watch "Eat with Me" on Netflix. Basically, an Asian mom finds out her son is gay. Then what? Well, it's quite fun to watch how she deals with it in modern day society, and who she meets to help her along. 

Good news is, this movie is in English :) No subtitles needed this time.

Quite a cute movie  Eat with Me Trailer

What are YOUR thoughts on the movie?

George Takei

Did you know....
.........................George Takei is coming out ... with his own movie?! 
It's called "To Be Takei" 

If you are interested in Gaysians in the media, he is an out gaysian celebrity and has been for quite some time. It gives the next generation of gaysians hope of finding someone to grow old with, as he has done. He's also got a great sense of humor too! For example...

Twitter post

amusing.
Other Gaysian celebrities, courtesy of a google search 'gay asian celebrities':
http://www.ranker.com/list/list-of-gay-asian-celebrities/celebrity-lists?format=SLIDESHOW&page=8

list of 54:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jr-tungol/lgbt-asians_b_2026330.html

Ted Video:
George Takei, Why I love a country that once betrayed me

Taiwan Pride 2012

October 27, 2012

In honor of Today's Taiwan Pride Parade, which is on it's 10th year anniversary, here is a video to share with all of you:

Love = Love

Let's keep striving for equality and freedom to love whoever we want. If we don't fight for it, who else will? 

This year the organizers have produced a video to support the theme of the parade “Love all the Same, the Same Kind of Love”. This year's theme is to support gay marriage. You can view it below:

http://www.twpride.org/

See you there!

Coming out to Co-workers

Plain and simple, whenever you are ready. In a professional setting, if you don't feel comfortable coming out, then don't. You should never feel pressured when people start asking about your sexual orientation or if you are in a relationship, or anything along those lines. 

The work environment is one in which you should be very careful to separate your personal life and your professional work life.

out at work

Different companies/organizations/groups/etc.. have the general HR policy that they will not discriminate because of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, background, etc etc... but you know what? People still do. It's just human nature. There is no such thing as a perfect work environment, just like there is no such thing as the perfect job, or the "perfect ____". I just want to be extra cautious with this post, because you never know what will happen when people know personal details about yourself that you don't feel comfortable telling them. You got to look out for your own safely, in case there are "closet haters" that you don't know about at work. If co-workers have asked you before, and you feel comfortable with your colleagues enough to share personal details, then sure go ahead and tell them. However, if you are not, beware of gossip as pictured below:

 Water Cooler Gossip

Of course there are also positive aspects of coming at to colleagues. In some circumstances, you work long hours or in such close quarters with your co-workers that you become really good friends too. In any situation, you have to gauge how comfortable you are trusting other people. By all means, if your relationship with colleagues has evolved to one in which it is more of a friendship than purely "office" or "work" relationships [platonic], just go for it. 

I've found that coming out to people at work who are also H6, or who are obviously open-minded individuals that you trust is also a very liberating experience. I never felt comfortable telling my direct manager or upper leadership or any of those "boss" type levels about my sexual orientation, except for the ones that are also H6. You would be surprised to find out who else in your work environment is also part of the H6 community <3 If you have questions, feel free to leave comments below and I'll try my best to answer them. 

Good luck to all H6s coming out of the work closet!
~when you are ready~

As always, “be well, do good work and keep in touch.” - Noam Chomsky

Parents. Love.

I just really wanted to share this article with you all. This is really touching, and I hope all our parents will be able to get to this stage at some point in their lives:

Parents of LGBT children in Taiwan launch official group

click above

Please check it out if you're interested in coming out, or have come out to your parents already and would like to open up a discussion with them <3

How I Came Out to my Mother, Part 1

Cause and Effect.


Really, that's how it came about. There was a situation, a cause, that prompted the effect of me coming out to my mother. So here's how it happened.


It was really my aunt.


Haha, that's cheating right? I didn't really come out to my mother myself? Not quite. You see, now that I've experienced it, I think this is a great way to come out to your parents. Come out to one of their close siblings first. For me, fortunately, I was already really close to my aunt, who is also close to my mom (well, they're sisters). I didn't know this at the time, but right after I came out to my Aunt, she told my Mother.


In a nutshell:


-Rented a lesbian movie with aunt/uncle
-afterwards, came out to Aunt online...because I was too afraid to tell her in person
-Aunt told Mother
-Mother suspects I am gay for a couple months..and questions if I am going to a gay bar every time I go out
-breakup with 1st gf prompted coming out (as bi at the time)


Result:
-NO Motherly comfort, just an intense Q&A session
-1 week later, I came out to my dad only because I felt it was unfair to tell one parent and not the other.


The nitty gritty details:


It was my 3rd year in college, and I don't really remember why I had picked a gay themed movie to watch while my relatives and I were at Blockbuster on a Friday night. I was back home for the weekend visiting and when we couldn't find any movies to rent, I picked up this Gay themed one with an Asian girl on the cover, and some other movies. We ended up watching the one I picked. 


It was a horrible movie. Terrible actually. First off, it was only an hour long, and second, it must have been a low budget poorly written production because there was hardly any story and I had never heard of it before,...I was just curious. So, after I made my relatives watch this terrible gay movie, they gave me the opportunity to open up a discussion. My aunt asked me,

"So..............is there something you want to tell us?" 

Me: 0_0          ........*GULP*  

um.....noooo *awkward pause* ok, i'm gonna go to my room now.

After I get back to my apartment at school, my Aunt IMs me and directly asks if I like girls. What can I say...This was the first time I came out to anyone in my family.

Scary, but not impossible.

As I started to tell my Aunt my deepest and darkest secret I've kept my whole life...I couldn't help the tears that started streaming down my cheeks. I remember telling her I didn't want to tell anyone because I was ashamed of how I really felt and who I really was. Growing up, I was always the obedient daughter and never wanted to disappoint my parents or my family. At the time, I felt like being gay was one of the greatest disappointments I could be to my parents and my biggest fear was becoming just that. A disappointment. 


Not only was I afraid of being a disappointment, I was afraid they wouldn't love me anymore, or love me less, or blame themselves or ...or any other undesirable scenario a child could imagine if their parents found out they were gay. Imagine if you had a child, and one day they came to you and told you they are attracted to people of their same gender. How would you feel?
...
And then, how would you react?


Exactly. If your parents were only exposed to a culture and society that embraced ignorance and hypocrisy, then you probably would NEVER want to come out to them. You can imagine how I felt when my Aunt broached the topic and cracked open the closet door for me.
...


I remember saying something like, "do you think I'm a monster?" and "For as long as I can remember I was like this...I didn't choose to be gay"


I couldn't have wished for a better reaction. My Aunt said I should have come out to her sooner, and that I should have known better. She's such an open-minded person that I could have told her sooner instead of having lived in fear and walked a lonely road through adolescence. I felt so relieved and so liberated and grateful that she accepted me for who I am. I was overwhelmed.


I can't describe in words how I felt that day when I finally told someone in my family how I truly felt inside. No more questions or comments about me finding a boyfriend or any other hypothetical marriage scenarios of me with a future "husband." I felt accepted. I was still loved in exactly the same manner as a gay niece vs. a straight niece. I'm really lucky to have someone in the family that is so open-minded and accepting. 

I can finally share my true feelings without having to hide or lie about who I am with someone in the family.

Resource for coming out to Asian Parents

I recommend getting the book, 親愛的爸媽, 我是同志 (Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experience). Unfortunately it is printed in Chinese, but it's great if you have Chinese parents or can read some Chinese yourself:

This book helped me a lot when I came out to my Chinese parents. Mind you, my Dad is one of the most traditional fathers there are when it comes to Chinese culture. My parents grew up in Taiwan, and I grew up in California. Although both my parents have been living in the U.S. for more than 25 years now, it's still difficult for them to accept that their own child is gay (Lesbian to be specific). 


Anyway, this book helped me a lot, maybe more than my parents. It just made me feel like I'm not alone. So many stories about how other people around the world are just like me, and faced with the exact same situation. I read about how parents react, and this is from every imaginable possibility. I read about how everyone has their own method and timing of coming out. So if you can read Chinese, get it. It helps! If anything, it just helps you feel like you are not alone :) and that's comforting.


I read this book before I came out and it gave me strength and encouragement that everyone can do it, and it's such a relief. Liberation. The weight of a mountain lifted off your shoulders. A secret you no longer have to bear. A lifelong burden.....gone. I wanted that relief. I wanted that liberation so bad that when the moment came, I did it. I just ... in that moment decided to come out to my parents. Had I not been introduced to this book, I don't know if I would have found the strength and courage to tell my parents who I truly was...because you know what, It's scary as hell to think that if your parents knew who you really were, that they wouldn't love you anymore. That you'd somehow let them down. A disappointment. An un-filial child. Worst of all, hearing the most feared words from your father or mother that ...

"You are not my child anymore." 

What could be more awful than that??


So.....You'll have to keep reading to find out about HOW and WHEN I made the decision to come out to my mother.

The Fear of Coming Out of the Closet

4 a.m. - Graduation Day


I remember the day before college graduation was a horrific experience. Why? Think of the scenario: parents are visiting, siblings are visiting, and some relatives. Most importantly, this was the thought that was running through my head:

"WHAT IF THEY FOUND OUT I WAS GAY?"

Then came the flooded possibilities of the different scenarios that would follow: What if they disowned me? What if they refuse to acknowledge they ever had me as a daughter? Or worse, what if they think i'm some sort of monster or that being gay is just a disease? All these fears kept circling in my head that I eventually broke down. I couldn't sleep. I was fearful and crying. What did I do? I called up my best gay buddy to seek some comfort.


Being the considerate person that I am, I at least waited for the sun to come out before I called him up. So, after I'm freaking out and crying to him over the phone, I go over to his house and he calms me down. For confidentiality reasons, let's call him Peter. So Peter calms me down and reminds me that it's not the end of the world. I have done my research and I am prepared for anything that may happen. Peter is also the President of Asian Pacific Islander Queers (APIQ) - the student club on campus for asians and queers. After I've got a grip on myself and stopped crying, I realized it will be okay. He's right, how would my family know I am gay? By seeing something in my room that would indicate this? Mind you, at this time I was not in a relationship, so I didn't have any incriminating photos lying around.


The feeling of being so scared, so helpless, and utterly fragile started to slip away. My confidence started to come back to me, and reminding myself of everything I learned about what it means to be gay. Sexuality is fluid. I am still trying to figure it out. I am still the same person my family knows and loves, just the idea that I may be attracted to another person of the same gender is different. However, that does not change who I am. I started to collect myself and the reminder that I have this great book, "Dear Mom and Dad, I am Gay" (except in Chinese) is also a great relief that I have solid material to give them, a book of stories of all parents who found out their children were gay and how they have dealt with it.


You never have to feel pressured to identify yourself is either one or another. Remember,

Sexuality is Fluid.