A Pierced Ear

In an incident when my grandma and I were watching something on television portraying a young asian male model with two pierced ears, and she sparks the question...


Grandma: ...which is the ear again with one piercing that signals you're gay? I forgot. It's either the left ear or the right ear. Which one is it?
Me: eh? HAHAHAHA oh grandma, that's so old school. people don't do that anymore.
Grandma: oh really? If a man only has one ear pierced doesn't it mean they're gay?
Me: That was a long time ago, like back in the 70s. Now it's trendy for young men to be straight and even get both ears pierced. It's just a style, to be fashionable. Doesn't mean they are gay.
Grandma: ....ohhh I see. Hmm, how times have changed.


This conversation definitely has shown how much progress and change has developed in this world. Our societies have definitely come a long way to allow social acceptance off all kinds of fashionable expression in our generations to come, and it's wonderful and exciting anticipating the ever changing growth and progression that will come in the future.

"What's the gay agenda"

Introducing LZ Granderson: The myth of the gay agenda

http://www.ted.com/talks/lz_granderson_the_myth_of_the_gay_agenda.html

From TedTalks...In a humorous talk with an urgent message, LZ Granderson points out the absurdity in the idea that there's a "gay lifestyle," much less a "gay agenda."


I really love how he tactfully brings the issues on the 'gay agenda' into the spotlight and uses prime examples from his personal life to show how silly it is to grant or take away rights from people who are just that...everyday people.

I'm trying to imagine all the people that have a problem with "THE GAY LIFESTYLE" and what it would take for them to realize their views on other people are just that..their own views. Understand that everybody is entitled to their own views and just because they believe something doesn't mean everybody else should too. I feel like people who have a problem with gay people and think they are less deserving of anything because of that one fact about them are just plain bossy and selfish.

It's okay for someone to get married or have more rights because they're straight, but the minute they announce they're gay then that means their rights are taken away? mmmm...that sounds like discrimination to me and the opposite of what "equality" and "freedom for all" stands for, just something that our country was built on, that's all. 

“This is the gay agenda: equality. Not special rights, but the rights that are already written by [our Founding Fathers].”

 In all honesty, the gay lifestyle doesn't exist. It's the same thing as a straight lifestyle. I mean, how would you define a "straight lifestyle"?? Grow up, get an education, get a job, find someone to grow old with, maybe raise some kids (maybe not), retire. 


It always baffles be to think that as a society we are more focused on deny people certain rights or privileges than focusing on the greater evil plaguing our society. You know, stuff like ignorance, poor parenting, irresponsible behavior, irrational and illogical thought processes. Here's an example from LZ:

“I would like to think that I have proven to be a capable father. But if I were to go to the state of Michigan today and try to adopt a young person who is in an orphanage, I would be disqualified for only one reason — because I'm gay.”

In this example, it is clear that the parents abandoning the young person is "OK'd" to relieve themselves of any further parental responsibility from their child, yet the people in society willing to pick up the slack for other's poor parenting judgement are NOT "OK'd" to do the responsible thing? 


 Hmm...

Heh I came across this image somewhere and it cracked me up. Let's just clear this up first that there is no right or wrong or someone to blame for anyone being gay. It's genetic. Already written in everybody's DNA. 


Hope you enjoyed LZ Granderson's talk and many others from Tedx.


Remember to "Be well, do good work and keep in touch" everyone.

Gaydar

What is gaydar? haha if you haven't heard of the term by now -- i'm sorry but you probably live under a rock, so check this out:

-H6s in range-

gay·dar
noun /ˈgāˌdär/
gaydars, plural

The putative ability of homosexuals to recognize one another intuitively or by means of very slight indications




A couple years ago a straight buddy of mine told me they actually sell 'gaydar' devices online -- some brilliant marketing person thought of an idea where people can buy a 'gaydar' keychain and if two of these devices come in close proximity to each other they'll notify the users that there's another supposedly "gay" person nearby:

Hmm...hahaha they do exist! What a way to be discreet in public huh?! I'm trying to imagine a society where the situation was reversed. Can you imagine if someone came up with a device called "straight-dar" so straight people can ID another straight person with such a silly device? "Oh no!...you're like, so totally...Straight!...what a waste!..." - boxer cover

Then there's the question: Ok, so how do I develop a more accurate gaydar?


Answer: practice practice practice! 


Explanation: As with most things in life, we must practice to hone our skills and through trial and error and developing superior observational and deductive skills... we will all have better functioning and useful internal 'gaydar' abilities without having to purchase keychain devices alerting us if another person of H6 origins is close by.

Comical gaydar image

How does one practice and hone their gaydar skills? How about people watching with a close group of friends or better yet, with someone you know who has excellent gaydar abilities. Once you get passed the obvious stereotypical indicators such as super flamboyant gay boys or super butch gay girls...it's the in-between "Bi" people that are usually the most challenging to identify. The ultimate test - if you're brave enough, go up and ask the person their sexuality. If you're really brave and find 'said target' attractive - try hitting on them and see what happens... what's the worse that can happen, they'll say no right? In that case you got nothing to lose! 




Good luck to all you H6s (and allies) and have fun practicing and developing superior gaydar skills :D

Taiwan LGBT spots to checkout

Check this out - Queer Girl City Guide: Taipei, Taiwan

http://www.autostraddle.com/queer-girl-city-guide-taipei-taiwan-136557/

FYI - very queer and women focused site 'Autostraddle' is a great place to get your daily dose of L news...

Taipei Hangout Spots:

• apparently the 信義 Xinyi district is known for being a "gay friendly" area. My friend told me there are lots of couples walking around there, very open, very public. FYI - she's straight, and she tells me sometimes it feels like she's out of place because there are so many same-sex couples in the area 0_0'' very surprising! I suppose it must be similar to the castro district in San Francisco where you just feel somewhat out of place if you are not part of the community.
• Xi Men Ding 西門町 bars are also a must visit location for those staying in Taipei. In the evenings, there's a whole slew of outdoor seating with your pick of bars that allows you to unwind after a hard week of work with your buddies while ordering some delicious drinks under the evening stars and of course, checking out other good looking people ;) 

Taipei shops:

• gin gin's bookstore 晶晶書庫 : one stop shop w/ books, movies, articles, knick-knacks, clothing, random rainbow stuff, etc...
  
  http://www.ginginbooks.com/index.htm
• loveboat (across the street from gin gin's)
  
  http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?osCsid=42716e4306b167e511954d058bc8fbe6

Taipei clubs:

• Taboo,  台北市建國北路2段90號,  011 886 2 2518 1119 http://www.taboo.com.tw/
  This place is pretty cool. Since Esha is no longer around, the L ladies flock to this place which puts on monthly events too I believe. Check it out if you're in the neighborhood or plan on visiting Formosa.
• The autostraddle article mentions a place called "twiice" but I've never been to it

Honestly, outside of Taipei...I don't know of any "LGBT" themed/designated areas. However, I do know that you can spot an LGBT person anywhere you go - pretty much anywhere in Taiwan. It's a friendly country :) 

which "L" tv shows should you watch?

I am currently watching: Lost Girl <-- it's really good so far. Thank you buddy for recommending it to me! Now I know what the definition of a succubus is...mmhmmm exactly~~~

SO HOT!

Video Rating: PG-13 kids; don't watch it if you can't handle it

gaysiansays you should checkout these other shows too~

• L word (of course)
• Skins (British version season 3 + season 4 "naomily")
• Pretty Little Liars
• Wonderfalls
• South of Nowhere

There is also a list of LGBT themed tv drama series here if you want more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dramatic_television_series_with_LGBT_characters

Get the popcorn ready and some buddies together to watch these addicting shows~ and enjoy!

I came out to my 外公 grandfather

I know. I came out to my grandfather.
Let's just let that thought marinate for a little bit longer...

Specifically, I came out to my adorable grandpa on my most recent trip to Taiwan. He's hard of hearing, so it took some effort and patience and eventually showing him a picture of my ex for him to understand that I was talking about a past relationship with another girl, not a dude. 

Honestly, I've thought about coming out to him for awhile, but I never had the guts to do it. Parents were easier in the sense that they are younger and hopefully more open-minded to the craziness going on in our generation (and generations to come for that matter). However, I always hesitated with the elder generation because of their health and the shock from knowing that one of their grand-children... is gay. First off, I'm impressed if any older person even knows what the word "gay" means! Haha. Old people can be so silly and so cute.


So imagine yourself going out to the park or the local grocery store everyday with your grandpa because, you know, they have nothing better to do and need the exercise ... and on one of these very relaxing and peaceful walks your grandpa can see that something is upsetting you. Then you are tasked with the dilemma of making something stupid up or actually telling him what the REAL thing that's bothering you is. Yea...that's when I made the decision. Didn't want to hide it from him anymore and just wanted to laugh it off like every other topic we discuss.  

Grandpa: So tell me really what is making you sad and depressed...
Me: .... mmmm.... well I was talking with Brother last night about all his prospective crushes, and it made me feel sad because I started thinking about my own past relationship *SIGH*
Grandpa: ...ah...hehe... well why do you feel sad? If it's just a matter of "losing the love" just go back to your ex and "rekindle the flame" hehehe
Me: ... 0_o'' well...I don't think that will work. It's not that simple. There's a lot of other reasons too why we are not together anymore *contemplating if I should tell him it's a girl and not a guy*
Grandpa: ...what did you say? huh? ... eh feelings. Young people these days are all about feelings and love. You can always create love and the feelings will come naturally. Relationships take effort and lots of work.
Me: ...(thinks about the high divorce rate in America) ... hmm, maybe all those people just stopped trying and gave up. Poor children with multiple parents and step-parents due to divorce.
... eh, here grandpa, this is a picture of my EX... *shows picture* 
Grandpa: ...eh? ahh..that's a girl. . . . HEHE, so you've been talking about a girl this whole time? hehe, I thought it was a boy! hehehehehe
Me: 0_0'' 
       *waiting for more reaction*
.......???!!!!
Grandpa: eh, I don't know about these things. It's a fashionable thing for young people to be "gay" these days. Is your brother "gay" too? hehehe
Me: >_~'' PHEWF...*relieved* hahaha, no my brother is not gay. He's just...hahaha. No grandpa, he's not. Just me.
Me: ^_^" ......  :]

That was pretty much our conversation. I didn't have to worry about him telling my grandmother because well, my aunt did that for me too. I have yet to broach the topic with her, but that is for another day, or another year, when some circumstance or situation would prompt me to open that door and start that conversation. 


As a filial grandkid, you don't want to give your grandparents a heart attack or some horrible shock that will disrupt their life. They're old. They need to take it easy and just enjoy their senior lives. There is a Chinese saying that goes like this:

 老小老小　"Old little Old little" 

It means Old People are like Little Kids. Sometimes they just want attention, they need extra care, they need help sometimes. Little Kids are the same way - they need attention, extra care and sometimes a little help. 


When and IF you decide to come out to your grandparents, just be respectful of everybody's circumstances. Our grandparents grew up in an era of wartime, starvation and lots of suffering. They didn't have the opportunity to learn or be exposed to any gay ... well gay anything actually (at least not mine). Therefore, be kind and mindful of the elders in our society and give'em a break if they don't accept or have a hard time understanding what an Asian Queer person is. Took us time to collect and develop the courage to tell them. It'll take them some time to understand what it will be like to have a gaysian grandkid too.

Coming out to Co-workers

Plain and simple, whenever you are ready. In a professional setting, if you don't feel comfortable coming out, then don't. You should never feel pressured when people start asking about your sexual orientation or if you are in a relationship, or anything along those lines. 

The work environment is one in which you should be very careful to separate your personal life and your professional work life.

out at work

Different companies/organizations/groups/etc.. have the general HR policy that they will not discriminate because of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, background, etc etc... but you know what? People still do. It's just human nature. There is no such thing as a perfect work environment, just like there is no such thing as the perfect job, or the "perfect ____". I just want to be extra cautious with this post, because you never know what will happen when people know personal details about yourself that you don't feel comfortable telling them. You got to look out for your own safely, in case there are "closet haters" that you don't know about at work. If co-workers have asked you before, and you feel comfortable with your colleagues enough to share personal details, then sure go ahead and tell them. However, if you are not, beware of gossip as pictured below:

 Water Cooler Gossip

Of course there are also positive aspects of coming at to colleagues. In some circumstances, you work long hours or in such close quarters with your co-workers that you become really good friends too. In any situation, you have to gauge how comfortable you are trusting other people. By all means, if your relationship with colleagues has evolved to one in which it is more of a friendship than purely "office" or "work" relationships [platonic], just go for it. 

I've found that coming out to people at work who are also H6, or who are obviously open-minded individuals that you trust is also a very liberating experience. I never felt comfortable telling my direct manager or upper leadership or any of those "boss" type levels about my sexual orientation, except for the ones that are also H6. You would be surprised to find out who else in your work environment is also part of the H6 community <3 If you have questions, feel free to leave comments below and I'll try my best to answer them. 

Good luck to all H6s coming out of the work closet!
~when you are ready~

As always, “be well, do good work and keep in touch.” - Noam Chomsky