Coming out to Co-workers

Plain and simple, whenever you are ready. In a professional setting, if you don't feel comfortable coming out, then don't. You should never feel pressured when people start asking about your sexual orientation or if you are in a relationship, or anything along those lines. 

The work environment is one in which you should be very careful to separate your personal life and your professional work life.

out at work

Different companies/organizations/groups/etc.. have the general HR policy that they will not discriminate because of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, background, etc etc... but you know what? People still do. It's just human nature. There is no such thing as a perfect work environment, just like there is no such thing as the perfect job, or the "perfect ____". I just want to be extra cautious with this post, because you never know what will happen when people know personal details about yourself that you don't feel comfortable telling them. You got to look out for your own safely, in case there are "closet haters" that you don't know about at work. If co-workers have asked you before, and you feel comfortable with your colleagues enough to share personal details, then sure go ahead and tell them. However, if you are not, beware of gossip as pictured below:

 Water Cooler Gossip

Of course there are also positive aspects of coming at to colleagues. In some circumstances, you work long hours or in such close quarters with your co-workers that you become really good friends too. In any situation, you have to gauge how comfortable you are trusting other people. By all means, if your relationship with colleagues has evolved to one in which it is more of a friendship than purely "office" or "work" relationships [platonic], just go for it. 

I've found that coming out to people at work who are also H6, or who are obviously open-minded individuals that you trust is also a very liberating experience. I never felt comfortable telling my direct manager or upper leadership or any of those "boss" type levels about my sexual orientation, except for the ones that are also H6. You would be surprised to find out who else in your work environment is also part of the H6 community <3 If you have questions, feel free to leave comments below and I'll try my best to answer them. 

Good luck to all H6s coming out of the work closet!
~when you are ready~

As always, “be well, do good work and keep in touch.” - Noam Chomsky

Parents. Love.

I just really wanted to share this article with you all. This is really touching, and I hope all our parents will be able to get to this stage at some point in their lives:

Parents of LGBT children in Taiwan launch official group

click above

Please check it out if you're interested in coming out, or have come out to your parents already and would like to open up a discussion with them <3

It's all about balance

In honor of my brother, who recently turned vegetarian, here's a post on how to become a vegetarian/pescatarian. I'm so proud of him, because he can give it all up. I just can't let go of seafood from my diet.


First off, I feel that getting all the nutrients from meat is essential. I told him to eat an egg everyday, because egg whites have all 20 amino acids. Not all foods have that, in fact, I don't think there is ANY food that has all 20. Amazing huh?!


If you want protein, there's plenty in tofu, or tofu by products. Think SOY! Vegetarians need soy beans in their diet, whether it be soy milk for breakfast, i.e. western style in cereal form or eastern style with soy milk in all types of breakfast options, i.e. 鹹豆漿, 甜豆漿...etc.. However, you also want to be careful you don't overdo on soy. That is also ... well, not balanced. You can google the effects if you eat too much soy.

I try to eat as many fruits and vegetables as I can. My mother always tells me to eat lots of colors of each type of food. Eating different colored foods will allow me to absorb a variety of nutrients from these different veggies and fruits. Since I LOVE eggplant, I try to eat that once in awhile. I don't like that many purple colored foods. Oh, Japanese purple yams are also very yummy! hehe, you must try it if you haven't! It's hard to go back to regular orange or yellow colored yams once you've had the purple kind. Try Asian supermarkets near you to find them.


If you are thinking about becoming a non-meat eater, good for you! My brother found that his overall health has increased since he started his new diet. Don't get me wrong, I think boys/men love meat. He still has cravings when we all go out to eat. But, he thinks about the video he saw of people slaughtering pigs...i.e. how pork becomes pork on our plate. It's always good to have a reminder of why you are not putting something in your mouth if you made a conscientious decision and have the will power to do so. For me, it's just that I don't really find red meats all that attractive. I can only eat so much of it before I'm done -- so it's not that hard. UNLESS, i'm in Taiwan and there's all these delicious street vendors with night-market delicacies. 


I found this guide yesterday to help me decide what seafood items I should pick if I want to be a healthy pescatarian:

My main point is. Whether you decide to be vegetarian or pescatarian for a day, a week, for breakfast only, M-F, whatever your schedule, it's a step in the right direction for all of us. Consider the greater good for all of humanity. . . and the effects of global warming on the earth. Watch this talk if you want to hear about the other inconvenient truth (http://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_foley_the_other_inconvenient_truth.html) My favorite quote:

"Failure is not an option"

My recent trip to Taiwan really made me feel like that's the only option. With the avian flu outbreak with chickens, pork from Australia that is also dangerous, the U.S. imported beef that has deadly injected stuff they are forcing other countries to import (not good), and mercury poisoning in the ocean.... it's almost as if Mother Nature is trying to tell us something....but what is it....?? *cough cough* 


As noam chomsky says...something along the lines of ...

Be Good, Do Good Things and Keep In Touch.

EDIT 4/18/2012: Be careful what you eat....
Gulf seafood deformities alarm scientists
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/04/201241682318260912.html

Eyeless Shrimp

How I Came Out to my Mother, Part 1

Cause and Effect.


Really, that's how it came about. There was a situation, a cause, that prompted the effect of me coming out to my mother. So here's how it happened.


It was really my aunt.


Haha, that's cheating right? I didn't really come out to my mother myself? Not quite. You see, now that I've experienced it, I think this is a great way to come out to your parents. Come out to one of their close siblings first. For me, fortunately, I was already really close to my aunt, who is also close to my mom (well, they're sisters). I didn't know this at the time, but right after I came out to my Aunt, she told my Mother.


In a nutshell:


-Rented a lesbian movie with aunt/uncle
-afterwards, came out to Aunt online...because I was too afraid to tell her in person
-Aunt told Mother
-Mother suspects I am gay for a couple months..and questions if I am going to a gay bar every time I go out
-breakup with 1st gf prompted coming out (as bi at the time)


Result:
-NO Motherly comfort, just an intense Q&A session
-1 week later, I came out to my dad only because I felt it was unfair to tell one parent and not the other.


The nitty gritty details:


It was my 3rd year in college, and I don't really remember why I had picked a gay themed movie to watch while my relatives and I were at Blockbuster on a Friday night. I was back home for the weekend visiting and when we couldn't find any movies to rent, I picked up this Gay themed one with an Asian girl on the cover, and some other movies. We ended up watching the one I picked. 


It was a horrible movie. Terrible actually. First off, it was only an hour long, and second, it must have been a low budget poorly written production because there was hardly any story and I had never heard of it before,...I was just curious. So, after I made my relatives watch this terrible gay movie, they gave me the opportunity to open up a discussion. My aunt asked me,

"So..............is there something you want to tell us?" 

Me: 0_0          ........*GULP*  

um.....noooo *awkward pause* ok, i'm gonna go to my room now.

After I get back to my apartment at school, my Aunt IMs me and directly asks if I like girls. What can I say...This was the first time I came out to anyone in my family.

Scary, but not impossible.

As I started to tell my Aunt my deepest and darkest secret I've kept my whole life...I couldn't help the tears that started streaming down my cheeks. I remember telling her I didn't want to tell anyone because I was ashamed of how I really felt and who I really was. Growing up, I was always the obedient daughter and never wanted to disappoint my parents or my family. At the time, I felt like being gay was one of the greatest disappointments I could be to my parents and my biggest fear was becoming just that. A disappointment. 


Not only was I afraid of being a disappointment, I was afraid they wouldn't love me anymore, or love me less, or blame themselves or ...or any other undesirable scenario a child could imagine if their parents found out they were gay. Imagine if you had a child, and one day they came to you and told you they are attracted to people of their same gender. How would you feel?
...
And then, how would you react?


Exactly. If your parents were only exposed to a culture and society that embraced ignorance and hypocrisy, then you probably would NEVER want to come out to them. You can imagine how I felt when my Aunt broached the topic and cracked open the closet door for me.
...


I remember saying something like, "do you think I'm a monster?" and "For as long as I can remember I was like this...I didn't choose to be gay"


I couldn't have wished for a better reaction. My Aunt said I should have come out to her sooner, and that I should have known better. She's such an open-minded person that I could have told her sooner instead of having lived in fear and walked a lonely road through adolescence. I felt so relieved and so liberated and grateful that she accepted me for who I am. I was overwhelmed.


I can't describe in words how I felt that day when I finally told someone in my family how I truly felt inside. No more questions or comments about me finding a boyfriend or any other hypothetical marriage scenarios of me with a future "husband." I felt accepted. I was still loved in exactly the same manner as a gay niece vs. a straight niece. I'm really lucky to have someone in the family that is so open-minded and accepting. 

I can finally share my true feelings without having to hide or lie about who I am with someone in the family.

IM convo ...about the future...and having kids

In an IM conversation to a friend of mine about my thought process towards education for my future kids:

Me: I like my parents around...but probably not all the time

...

Finland idea..came from when my parents went to Helsinki for their anniversary cruise

and then i look up that their economy and education system ain't bad at all

in fact..much better than the states...

seems like a great place to grow up and raise a family

....Who doesnt want the best education for their kids right?

i dont wanna be pregnant...so i dont really have to worry about the childbirth process..unless my partner has complications if she gets pregnant...

so..i have to keep that option open.

I'm 27.

not that young anymore if i want to have a healthy baby

and who knows if my partner will one day be older or younger..but if they're older..then more possibility they will have a difficult childbirth right?

....thinking too much

i just gotta make money

26 Amazing Facts About Finland's Unorthodox Education System

Me: thanks for reading

i have too many dreams

i want to do everything

but everything requires lots of money..so I have to think smart on how to make my portfolio grow
---
*sigh* 
story of everybody's life right? Money is what makes the world go 'round. It's easier to make money with money. More money = more power... etc. etc.


So then it begs the question: What would you do if it was YOU that had an abundance of wealth?


EDIT: After some further research, I'd pick Singapore as a potential city/country for my future kids. It's equally awesome and may have an even better education system than Finland...

陳綺貞 - 小步舞曲

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88sRFY7JCqo&feature=colike

陳綺貞 - 小步舞曲

Listen. Watch. Imagine.

I'm sure you've had those confusing childhood moments when you just don't know if you really do like boys, or girls, or both. This movie draws on those moments and brings the audience to a point in time where life was simpler, yet more complicated. You know what I mean.

This singer 陳綺貞 is featured in this MV. Her sexuality is unknown to me, but I'm glad she made this MV to help all the wandering gaysians out there feel a little less lonely on this journey of self - discovery.


EDIT (3/20): This MV features clips from the movie "Blue Gate" or "藍色大門" in case you were wondering or wanted to check it out :)

這個世界已經夠煩惱了。太多複雜的事情會讓我們感覺到壓力。記得小時候單純的生活嗎？長大以後，要記得我們走過的路，我們快樂和不快樂的時候。這些過程會讓我們變成我們以後會當的成仇大人。

Saving Face

The movie:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0384504/

這部電影真的很好看. 為什麼? 當然是因為有很多可愛的女生阿...哈哈哈 . 一個媽媽的愛心, 一個女兒的關心, 一個愛人的感情...有什麼電影可以包括這麼多的感覺在兩個小時之內呢? 很少.

如果你還沒有看過這部電影, 一定要看.這是我最喜歡的女同志電影. 看完以後, 跟我們大家分享你的感受吧.

EDIT (3/17): I just bought this movie from the Eslite bookstore 誠品書店 in Taipei. I know I know, can't believe I didn't own it before because I own like every other popular Lesbian Taiwanese movie when I visit Gin Gin's bookstore in Taipei...but I was waiting for a version that had Chinese and English dubbed audio...and this version I got has like...every language subbed too: Spanish, French, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai..etc etc...so I can lend it around to almost anyone :) YAY!